What to Do if You’re Too Scared to Travel Solo

I’m in a lot of solo travel groups (on Facebook mostly) and almost every day I’ll see someone post about how they wanted to go on a solo trip, and they booked everything and paid for it already, but they couldn’t make themselves get on the plane and actually go.

Or another person will post about being on their trip, a few days into it even, and they’re freaking out and crying every day, and are unable to continue their trip.

LOTS of times I’ll see women (grown adults 40+ years old) say their family has refused to let them travel solo, and told them all sorts of horror stories to keep them home and “safe.” Yikes!

Okay, so…the thing is this: solo travel is scary. Especially if you’re a woman.

It is SCARY to be in new places, where you may not speak the language and you don’t know anyone. Especially if you’re not already used to traveling anyway– if you’re a totally new traveler, and you’re trying to go alone? It’s terrifying!

But I also think it’s very rewarding, and once you make your first solo trip you’ll be hooked and want to keep doing it. It’s worth the effort to try and get out there.

This post is for women who want to travel solo but either haven’t been able to make the jump, or need some encouragement that they’re doing the right thing. I’ve been solo traveleing now full-time internationally for over 3 years, and before that I went on numerous solo trips around the US, so I’m very familiar with the trials and tribulations of being a solo traveler! Keep reading for my advice:

This post contains affiliate links. If you click on a link and buy something, I get a small percentage at no extra cost to you. Your support helps keep this blog running— thank you! Read full disclosure here.

First, figure out what you’re scared of

The biggest fear is fear of the unknown. To conquer that fear, you must first name it.

What is it that you’re truly frightened of? Take a piece of paper and write down everything you can think of that might be triggering your fear.

It might look something like this:

1. Afraid of getting lost and can’t find hotel
2. Afraid of getting robbed or pickpocketed
3. Scared of being lonely and not meeting anyone
4. Scared of being followed around by creepy guys and being assaulted
5. Not speaking the language and not understanding anything

Even things like being scared of being in a plane crash or losing your luggage! Write every little thing you can think of… or that other people have told you to be scared of.

Related: Traveling Solo? Here’s How to Make Friends On the Road

Then, understand your fear response

Okay, so there’s lots of be frightened of and it’s reasonable to be nervous.

But if you truly want to be a solo traveler then you need to not only name those fears, but understand your own response to them. Only then can you overcome them.

Here’s an example of what I mean. Take the first fear from the list above: Afraid of getting lost and can’t find hotel.

What does this actually MEAN for you, personally?

Yes, you could get lost. It happens all the time! But why are you, specifically, afraid of that happening?

For me, I’m scared that being lost means I’ll be in danger. If you’re a lost tourist wandering around, it’s easier to get into trouble– pickpockets or scammers can target you, and you can get into a bad situation. I HATE the thought of that, especially when I take efforts to minimize that danger anyway. I also don’t like being out of control, and not knowing where to go feels like the most out-of-control thing ever.

If you think about it, most travel-related fears are fears about being out of control, and being in danger. At least they are for me!

Related: Going on Your First Solo Trip: Tips for First-Time Travelers

Finally, face your fears

There’s a few ways to get past these travel fears and actually go on your trip. How you’ll do it will depend on what sort of personality you have, honestly.

If you’re the sort of person who is okay being spontaneous and wants to dive right into the problem, then (ironically) doing a bit of planning and preparation will help loads.

Take that first fear again: Afraid of getting lost and can’t find hotel.

What can I do to PREPARE and PLAN for this scenario?

Those two things are key: first, to prepare ahead of time so it’s less likely to happen, and second, to plan for what to do if it DOES happen.

So for me, I PREPARE by downloading the name of the hotel to my phone, in both English and the local language. I save the hotel’s contact info to my phone.

I download maps of the local area for offline use, and I screenshot routes to the hotel from the airport or bus terminal or whatever.

I also give myself plenty of time to get to the hotel by arriving earlier in the day if possible, so if I get lost I’m not wandering around in the dark.

I PLAN for what to do if it happens by deciding to go into a large chain hotel and asking for help if I can’t find my (usually small and boutique) hotel. (Large chains are more likely to have someone who speaks English at the front desk.)

I could also backtrack to the bus/train/airport and find a tourist info desk. Or if I have an eSIM with minutes on it, I can always call the hotel for help.

See what I mean? Many of these fears can be dealt with using practical means.

On the other hand, if you’re afraid to the point where you don’t even want to go on your trip, and even planning for what to do if something goes wrong doesn’t help, then you may need outside help.

Going to a therapist and talking about your anxieties is perfectly reasonable and I highly recommend it– especially if you think you may need something to ease any plane-related worries (they can prescribe anti-anxiety meds for nervous flyers).

Unfortunately, though concerned family members may just be trying to help you by telling you everything that can go wrong, it’s not actually helpful for going on a solo trip if they’re just putting terrifying thoughts in there. A balanced perspective from a neutral third party can help a lot.

Related: How to Keep in Contact While Traveling Abroad

Other ideas for making the jump

Join a group tour

If you’re new to traveling in general, and aren’t used to planning your own trips, then a good way to dip your toe into solo travel waters is by joining up with a group tour.

You get the experience of traveling abroad and you can cut out a lot of the anxious parts of travel. You’re in a group of people (new friends!), you don’t have to plan very much (usually just the flight there/back), and you aren’t wandering totally alone in a foreign place (safety in numbers). Most group trips also give you time where you can explore on your own, so you can even practice that, too.

There’s lots of group tours for every age bracket, and even female-only tours!

Travel locally

Another good way to get solo travel experience is by traveling locally, either in your own state or country. It’s usually less scary to just go somewhere a few hours away, because it’s something you’re more used to, but you still get the experience of booking transportation, hotels, tours, etc. and being on your own in a new place.

I did my first few solo trips within the US, actually! My first major one was flying from Albuquerque to NYC for a book convention.

I had to plan my flights, getting from the airport to my hostel, my hostel itself, getting to the convention, and then all back again. It was a wonderful experience and though I was terrified, I managed to do it and nothing bad happened at all. In fact, it got me excited to do even more traveling!

Travel for an event

Another option is to travel specifically for an event, such as a convention or a retreat. Having a goal of a specific thing you’re going to can help ease a lot of fears, because at least you know where you’re going and who you’re meeting there. Plus lots of them host events for attendees, even small day tours and such, so you can get more travel experience without having to plan a whole lot yourself just yet.

Final Thoughts

It’s scary to travel alone for the first time, but once you figure out exactly what you’re afraid of and how to fix it for your personal needs, then it’s much easier to make the jump.

I honestly think everyone should try traveling solo, at least once. Not everyone enjoys doing it every time, but it’s a good skillset to have in your pocket. If you know you can go somewhere and don’t “need” anybody to go with you, then you’ll have that much more independence and confidence in yourself.

Ready to take that first step? Start exploring ideas in the Solo Female Travel Archives. Trust yourself! You’ve got this.